It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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