There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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