I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
is wine microwaveable?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
