Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
