i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
