At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
