Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
