I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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