so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
