Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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