I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
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