careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
