Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize