That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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