i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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