would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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