I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i love accidental penises.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Randomize
