you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
