Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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