i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
