She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
