my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
