It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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