i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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