69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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