What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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