I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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