he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Randomize
