Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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