Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I want her autograph on my taint
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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