Who wears a wallet chain?!
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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