White coat. Heels.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
