i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
