I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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