I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
