those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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