Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
