I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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