I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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