i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
