god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
