i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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