When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
