Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm passing your future prison.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He? As in you personified your dick?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
