I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
