Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
