i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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