never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
