hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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