Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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