shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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